Boundaries

While unpacking Matt’s suitcase after a weekend away, I pulled a gargantuan bobby pin from one of the inner pockets.

            “What’s this?” I asked.

            “It’s yours isn’t it?”

            “Really? If I wore this it would cover half my head.”

Perhaps it’s the curse of the fiction writer but I quickly conjured up in my mind the size of woman who would wear such a pin. She looked about six foot eight with an oversized bunch of unruly blond curls, high tops, and long, skinny arms or perhaps the mature woman with flowing, grey locks, thick glasses, and bright, bohemian skirt who liked the simplicity of such a fastener. Whoever she was, why was her paraphernalia in my husband’s suitcase?       

The conversation went on for a few more moments and involved accusation and denial - both good components to any marital discussion. Matt hasn’t travelled alone for several years and I don’t usually unpack his things. Most likely he honestly did pick up the bobby pin in some hotel thinking it was mine regardless of its unusual size.

Our discussion reminded me of how important it is for each one of us to protect our relationships and guard them against temptation. Bill and Pam Farrel, in their book Men Are Like Waffles Women Are Like Spaghetti (a great little read for improving your marriage) share their own boundaries to guard their relationship. “We are never alone with a person of the opposite sex in a counseling setting. We never dine with those of the opposite sex alone, nor do we travel alone with members of the opposite sex. We even make it a practice of dropping off those of the opposite sex before we take home those of the same sex in a carpool situation. But more importantly than these structural boundaries, we have emotional boundaries. We do not share with others what our spouse should hear first. In other words, our deepest sorrows and greatest thrills are not shared with anyone until first shared with each other.”

Great ideas, don’t you think?

 

Have a superb week!

 

P.S. Our granddaughter has improved a lot over the last week and can now roll over and push herself up on her knees. Praise the Lord!