Near Miss

Ever have one of those weeks? So many stories … so little time.


“Mom, Kingston is in your medication!”

Drat. I thought I’d put them out of reach this time: thyroid medication bottle closed, zipped up in my make-up bag, and placed in the crib in the guest room. Nope. The two year old found them and thought they made for a good snack.

My daughter phoned poison control while I counted the pills to see how many he ate. By my math it was between 20 to 30 pills not including the ones still lodged in his throat when he got caught.

The slow drawl of the poison control operator assured his mother there was no need for concern. According to his calculations, after five minutes of silence on the phone, the medication would not be harmful unless he ingested 50,000 pills. Yes, 50,000. I imagined Kingston surrounded with buckets and buckets of pills. Surely, he would be in trouble long before the ingestion of 50, 000 … anything.

“You know, that just sounds a little off.”

“That’s what he said,” my daughter replied. “And I should expect hormonal changes in about a week.”

“Hormonal changes?” What grandmother wants to be the reason a two year old exhibits strange, hormonal behaviour? And what would that even look like; would he be sad, would he be angry, would he grow hair on his chest?

The operator phoned back a half hour later to correct his mathematical mistake. Only fifty pills would cause concern. That’s quite a difference! He also wanted to make sure my daughter did a thorough check of the entire home to be sure Kingston didn’t get into anything else. Nice cover.

Alas, Kingston is safe and relatively sound as we count down the three days until the hormonal changes.

Perhaps I will be buried by grandmother guilt yet.


Have a super happy Thanksgiving!


Fool’s Notion:  Week 8                    Goal 128                     Actual   95

Yikes, only 4 pages this week!